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Looking for a little bit of stress...but not so much that my stress stresses me!

Updated: Aug 27, 2019

To a certain extent, I always knew that the first few weeks of my 'retirement' would be busy, and if I am completely honest, I don't think I ever imagined that my life outside of the Office would be so hard! I haven't stopped!

Office life was often so stressful that when I arrived home on an evening all I actually wanted to do was sleep! There were times when I would have to ask my husband not to speak to me for a while, I just needed my own space to digest the days events and settle them in my mind, I would often struggle to string a sentence together let alone tackle the jobs that were backing up around me... and so it shouldn't have come as such a big surprise that I found myself in a whirlpool of busyness! But it did!!

Welcome to reality! I am now the wobbly director of 'Home Inc.' - no task too big or too small, if it will save money then I will do it myself (my husband loves that!)

I think I had always pictured that once I left work I would transform into a glamorous and stylish housewife who would have lunch dates out and become a socialite envied by the Kardashians themselves...little did I know! I basically live in my cleaning up clothes, make-up has become a thing of the past (who even has the time to mess like that?!) and my hair looks as though Worzel Gummidge is my style icon!

This weekend has been spent mainly painting fences - genuinely, I have never known such a boring, hard work, endless task! And when I realised that it all needed second-coating I very nearly gave the third coat I was contemplating a Facebook post "fence painting party, free beer provided" desperate times lead to desperate measures! Anyway, it is over, four giant tins later (most of which splashed over me!) a lot of elbow grease and the job is can I describe it so that you can picture my is very erm...'shabby-chic'!

In between my extensive DIY efforts, I have also been busy working on Forgetmenot and I am pleased to say that my stationery has now all arrived. There was initially quite a bit of toing and froing to finalise the designs, which wasn't as straight forward as I had imagined it would be - but I have to remember, as it stands at the moment virtually everything that I do is new to me and so I find myself learning lessons that I didn't know needed learning.

After contacting a Printing Company in Leeds who was exceptionally unhelpful and seemed unwilling to help or assist me I felt quite disheartened and almost inadequate, I was closer to an uneducated nuisance rather than a customer and so determined to take my business elsewhere I found and I am so pleased that I did; their Customer Services are second to none, they offered advice and support with my orders both efficiently and professionally and when my delivery arrived, wow, I was literally bowled over with the luxury products, I feel proud that I am now able to offer a level of quality that is sure to make people talk!

I moved my work onto the patio in the sunshine and have enjoyed every minute creatively preparing my bundles of advertising materials to drop locally. You would imagine that this would be perfection, however... my, hmmm, 'concern?' that possibly isn't the right word, but my worry, to date, (and it feels like something I battle on an almost daily basis), is my lack of routine.

In the past my life was absolutely regimented, I knew minute for minute what I needed to do and the exact timescale I had in which to get my jobs done - woe betide anybody that got in my way and delayed my schedule! And now, here I am at the complete opposite end of the spectrum, tootling along preparing Flyers in the sunshine, writing my blog with my feet up on the lounger...I feel as though I am cheating! It is very strange, the calmness in my life is almost unnerving, I am wired to perform on full bore and currently feel like I am chugging along and will be overtaken by a mobility scooter any minute!

I don't think I was entirely sure what to expect, I love that all of the decisions that I make are for me now, and I love that life feels more relaxed and stress free - but at the same time I still like to set my alarm in a morning, it makes me feel as though my day runs more productively, I whip through my jobs efficiently - still at an enjoyable manageable pace - but never the less they all get done (and then some!). If I compare this to a day when I have allowed myself to wake up naturally, I seem to lose direction, I mill about unfocused and with no real sense of direction and that notion is so bizarre to me right now that I just don't like it.

I am hoping that I will naturally find some sort of middle ground routine - busy but not too busy! A little bit of stress to keep me on my toes but not so much that my stress stresses me! A teeny bit of time so that I can actually wash my face and splosh a wee bit of make-up on in a morning maybe?

Am I asking for the impossible, who knows! Watch this space x

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